"It's [the internet] like the flu - it just spreads like crazy."

"Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking of them."

"What's sort of interesting about the whole public relations disaster that is the Net, in some ways, is that the fundamentals are really good."

"The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation."

"We've heard that a million monkeys at a keyboard could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense."

"You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine."

"If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger."

"To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs."

"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."