"Each year, it seems, larger and more daunting mountains of text rise from the lush lowlands of visual reproduction."

"The Linux philosophy is 'Laugh in the face of danger'. Oops. Wrong One. 'Do it yourself'. Yes, that's it."

"Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems."

"The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology."

"Real programmers can write assembly code in any language."

"A friend called me up the other day and talked about investing in a dot-com that sells lobsters. Internet lobsters. Where will this end? The next day he sent me a huge package of lobsters on ice. How low can you stoop?"

"I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet."

"Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi."

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."