"History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind."

"History is more or less bunk."

"The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time?"

"History never looks like history when you are living through it."

"My dear and old country, here we are once again together faced with a heavy trial."

"I have tried to lift France out of the mud. But she will return to her errors and vomitings. I cannot prevent the French from being French."

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."

"How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese?"

"Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages."

"We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre."