"Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes."

"Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details."

"Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery."

"I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning."

"An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he - for some reason - thinks it would be a good idea to give them."

"Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches."

"I am a deeply superficial person."

"Thurber did not write the way a surgeon operates, he wrote the way a child skips rope, the way a mouse waltzes."

"For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros."

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that life imitates art far more than art imitates life."