"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

"There seems to be a terrible misunderstanding on the part of a great many people to the effect that when you cease to believe you may cease to behave."

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither."

"There were honest people long before there were Christians and there are, God be praised, still honest people where there are no Christians.

"The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs."

"Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious."

"I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence."

"We must respect the other fellow's religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."